Chapter Seven: It Still Hurts - Part One

This chapter can be read on it's own, or can be read with George's chapter which can be found here. It's the one time that the two stories have chapters for the same event so it just made sense to me to publish them at the same time. While the event is the same, their reactions and experiences are different and I think each chapter shows just how different George and Trev are by revealing what each chose to center their thoughts and attention on.

And I'll just go ahead and say that due to one picture, this may be NSFW. What can I say? I couldn't resist taking a pic of Trev in the shower. . .lol! 

And it is part one of two, which I'm in the process of editing. Hopefully soon. . .

Hope you enjoy it! Thanks so much for reading!

****Pam****

I sat in the press room after the next game and barely noticed the loud people around me. My mind was too occupied with what happened since the last game and by the fact that I was still fighting with myself over what I felt. Trev, Paisley and I went out for dinner and he continued to wonder if I was okay, something that Paisley picked up on and I could tell she was more than a little curious by it.  I spent the whole dinner fighting with myself; he would tease me or throw a sarcastic comment my direction and I would return the favor, but then I would try to remind myself that I was silly for letting it get my hopes up. Any reasoning was dashed away though when as we left and said goodbye, I felt his hand on my back as I got in my car and I was again confused by what it meant. Was it just a friendly gesture or something more?

I sighed and Victor looked at me. "What's up with you?"

I shrugged. "Just tired tonight." I lied and was grateful that he didn't press me for anymore answers. The sound of the doors opening alerted the room that someone was coming in to answer questions and I felt my heart beat faster as I saw Trev walk up to the table. But it immediately slowed and sank as I saw his face. He should have been all smiles since they had just won against one of the best teams in the league, but he was more than a little subdued and I wasn't the only one who noticed.

"Maybe he drank the same sad juice you did." Victor kidded and I kept watching Trev. He smiled, albeit not the blinding smile most were used to seeing, he was still thoughtful, but what was the most telling was that he didn't crack a single joke during the whole time he sat and answered questions. It was concerning enough that I didn't ask any and instead sat there wondering what could be troubling him so much. Was the pressure of his recovery and career becoming too much? Was there something else?

He left as quietly as he entered and I couldn't think of much else but his demeanor as Coach White answered questions. I sat there half listening to him and the others that sat at the table after him, and when the last player finished, I quickly grabbed my things and headed out to the parking lot. With the way he was acting I wondered if his car would still be there, and when I saw it sitting exactly three spots over from mine, like it had for the last three months, I let out a sigh of relief.

I was earlier than normal since I rushed out of the press room, and after placing my bag in the backseat, I leaned against my car and looked up at the moonlit sky. It did little to distract me though from feeling the worry that started when I saw him enter the pressroom; and eventually I gave up concentrating on the clouds and instead replayed every moment of the press conference. His subdued facial expressions, the lack of a smirk or blinding smile, his quiet demeanor. . .

"Aren't you cold?" He whispered as he stopped next to me and leaned against the car. The suddenness of his voice made me jump a little and conflicting feelings started to swirl around inside me. Excitement that even in his saddened state he stopped to talk to me, disgust at the fact that in my excitement I forgot about his sadness and I began to chastise myself for it. The last feeling, distress over his behavior, was what made me regain some of my wits and helped me push all other thoughts aside.

"A little." I admitted and looked over at him. His eyes were focused on the sky which gave me a moment to look at his face undetected. At that close distance there was no denying the sad expression that touched every inch of it and as he lowered his head and looked at me, I saw it in his eyes too.

"You didn't ask a question tonight." He tried to joke and while I was somewhat relieved that he did, I knew what he was trying to do. He was attempting to hide behind his quick wit, and while that might have worked in previous years, it didn't then.

"I have one now." I offered and I felt a small sense of relief when a half smile appeared on his lips.

Chapter Six: Relationship Waters

****Trev****

"Come on guys! We're only behind by fourteen!" I clapped my hands and tried to encourage the offense as they ran off the field, but my efforts didn’t do much good. Every single guy that walked past me looked like a beaten down dog; none more so than Ryan.

"Shit!" No matter what I do, what we try, we can't get a guy open in the end zone; not that it matters since I can't seem to keep from throwing interceptions!" I knew exactly how he felt and would’ve reacted the same way if I’d thrown even one interception, but I also knew that if he focused on his mistakes, his confidence in himself would falter even more and lead to other missteps.

"Don't beat yourself up." I gave his back a couple of hard pats. "It's pre-season, they've got one of the quickest defenses, and we're only down by two touchdowns. We'll get another chance when we get the ball back."  Most would consider it a miracle that we weren’t trailing by more. Our opponent was the Pleasantville Panthers who were considered the team to beat that season and early predictions had them as a shoo-in for the Super Bowl. Any team would have a hard time beating them, even one that had a solid starting quarterback.

Not that Ryan wasn’t good. He’d started all three of our preseason games and played great during the first two, but the Panthers were on a whole other level and would’ve rattled most veteran quarterbacks. His inexperience and lack of confidence in himself didn’t help him and even though I wanted a chance to play, I found myself trying to help him. It was an unusual situation that gave me conflicting feelings; one moment rooting for him as a mentor and coach, and then the next wishing that I was the one on the field. But until Coach White made that decision, I set my mind to helping Ryan and the team.

I walked over to the bench with him to talk about some adjustments that he could make, but stopped at the sound of Coach’s voice. "Trev!" My gut sank knowing that more than likely Coach was coming over to tell him that he wasn’t going back in. "You still feel warmed up?" I nodded.

He thought for a moment and even though the sound of the crowd, pads hitting on the field, and guys on the sidelines talking should have been deafening, they all seemed to fade away as I anxiously waited for Coach to make a decision. The slow nod of his head signaled that he had. "Get your helmet; you're going in.” He finally spoke the words that I longed to hear and my sigh of relief was met with a disappointed one from Ryan. The reversal of roles brought a new set of conflicting feelings; excitement over being the chosen quarterback but also sympathy for Ryan for becoming the one that stood on the sideline.

He gave me a faint smile when I patted his back one last time and I darted over to the bench where my helmet sat. As my hands grasped the facemask, the crowd let out a big roar and the defense celebrated the fact that they kept the Panthers’ offense from scoring any points. Right before I turned to go on the field, Ryan gave me two big pats on the back and we exchanged a smile. It partially surprised me that as I ran up to the guys on the field, the crowd began to cheer and I let myself feel the excitement of it for a moment; the hard, fast beating of my heart, the surge of adrenaline that pumped through my body and gave my muscles a burst of energy. . .I had missed it more than I had let anyone know.

As I approached the guys, I took several deep breaths and tried to center the surge of energy the crowd gave me. After two plays, we had only gained two yards and as I looked up at the clock and saw the last four minutes start to tick down, I knew we needed to do something unexpected and called a timeout.

"This is fucking insane!" Tiny complained as we stood on the sidelines with Coach White and Ned. "We can't do shit against them."

I looked around at the frustrated and disappointed faces and got pissed. "You're right, not with that kind of attitude!"

"Spare us the sunshine speech, Davila." Brewster rolled his eyes.

Happy Holidays from Trev and Pamela!!