Chapter Eight: A Day in the Life

I can't believe it's been so long since I published a chapter for any of my stories! That crazy thing called life kept me away, but now I'm back and will have chapters out as soon as I can get pictures for each of them. Sorry it took so long! Hope you enjoy!

****Trev****

I cursed under my breath as I walked to Jimmy’s office. Nothing good came from being summoned there. It either meant that you’d done something stupid, the organization wasn’t happy with your performance, or that they wanted you to do something for the team. I couldn’t remember doing anything stupid; although Ryan and I switched the offensive line’s helmets when they weren’t looking during practice the week before. The players thought it was funny while the coaches found it disruptive, but I saw no evidence of Ryan which eliminated it as the reason for me being summoned.

I didn’t think it was about my performance either. We were heading into week seven and won five of the six games we played; our only loss being to the Pleasantville Panthers, the team that we almost had the comeback win against during the preseason. That meant that the organization wanted me to do something, and as I turned down the hallway that led to Jimmy’s office I tried to prepare myself for whatever stupid ass thing they wanted me to do.

As I arrived at his door I smiled at several office workers that passed by and then took a moment to collect my thoughts before raising my hand to knock. “Enter!” Jimmy’s voice echoed into the hallway and I took one last deep breath before stepping into his office.

“Trev! Thanks for coming!” He greeted me before I could take two steps in the door.

“When the boss man asks you to stop by his office, it’s probably a good idea to do as he asks.” I said with a smirk and tried not to cringe at his forced laugh.

“True, very true.” He smiled and waved his hand at one of the chairs facing his desk. “Why don’t you have a seat?”

I looked at it and shook my head. “If it’s okay with you, I’d like to cut to the chase. The O-line’s meeting in one of the viewing rooms in 20 minutes and I don’t want to be late.”

The huge grin that he plastered on his face made me worry about what was to come. “That’s the kind of dedication we love! And it’s one of the reasons I asked you to stop by.” He walked out from behind his desk and I impatiently waited as he paused for a moment; no doubt trying to figure out how to ask me whatever it was that he wanted.

“Because of all that hard work and dedication from you. . .” He stopped and motioned towards the door. “. . .and the team of course, there’s a lot of buzz starting to circulate about our chances of being in the playoffs this year and we’re getting more and more requests for interviews.” I nodded but wasn’t particularly thrilled with what I was hearing. I never did interviews outside of pre and post-game ones and I wasn’t going to start doing them either. My face must have given away my thoughts because Jimmy sighed and stopped the charade.

“Here’s the thing, we’ve been contacted by a news organization that wants to do a story on the Buck’s; kind of a behind the scenes thing, and we’ve pretty much said that we’d be open to do it.” I sneered at the thought of some journalist following everyone around, trying to dig up dirt on all of us.

“Which publication is it? The last thing we need is some tabloid running around here, making shit up.” I complained and he held up his hands.

“Give me more credit than that. I hope you don’t seriously think that I would let someone from one of those publications in here. It’s Bridgeport Times.” He admitted and I slightly perked up from hearing the name. “You don’t seem as opposed to that. . .”

I wasn’t since Pam worked for them but I didn’t want to seem too much in favor of it. I shrugged and looked out the window, trying to seem disinterested. “It’s better than some.”

He nodded and took a deep breath before continuing. “There’s something else. They’ve also asked for the opportunity to follow you around for a day, to see how you prep for a game, even perhaps follow you around outside the stadium.” He cringed again, knowing that I wouldn’t take his last admission well.

“There’s no way in hell that I’m doing that! Everyone knows I don’t do that kind of thing and I’m not about to start! They can come to the stadium, hang with the team, and then leave!” I walked towards the door, totally convinced that the conversation was over.

“What if you could pick the writer? Someone you trust. . .like Pamela Haines.” The mention of Pam’s name made me swing around and stride towards him.

“Why would you think that her writing it would sway me?” I started to go over press conferences, our interactions on the practice field, anywhere that the team or management would have seen us together and worried that something had tipped them off that I was interested in her; knowing that if anything like that got around it could possibly hurt her job.

“You’re good friends with her family aren’t you? Especially Coach Haines, right?” I nodded. “I just figured that with your connection to her family you would be more willing to agree with her writing the article.”

I thought about spending the whole day with her, no one questioning why, and for a moment I started to hope. But then I remembered that she didn’t write those types of articles. “You know she doesn’t write fluff pieces or editorials. She would never agree to write it.”

“Never mind that. What if we could get her to agree, would you do it?”

I didn’t even have to think about it but I didn’t want to seem too eager. I pretended to mull it over for a minute before I looked back at him and nodded. “If you can get Pamela Haines to agree to write it, I’ll do it. But there’s not a snowball’s chance in hell that she will.”

A smirk appeared on his lips as he nodded. “You just let me worry about that.” I shook my head and walked out his door; certain that it would never happen.

****Pamela****

Haines, I need to see you, ASAP.

Oh shit. . .I thought to myself as I read Roger’s text message. It was never a good sign when he said ASAP. Most time it meant that a crisis had or was about to happen and even though it never involved me, he still felt the need to tell me all about it. In some ways it was nice to know that he trusted me enough to include me in those discussions, but he had a tendency to be somewhat over the top in his story telling, something that I wasn’t a big fan of. . .unless it was accompanied by a blinding smile, convincing blue eyes. . .I shook my head and tried to get the image of Trev out of my head. The last thing I needed was to give Roger or anyone any indication that I was thinking about Trev; unless it was for work purposes.

Instead, I tried to remind myself about what brought me to Roger’s office and knocked on his door, hoping that the story I was about to hear would be a short one.

“Yup.” His bark travelled through the glass and beckoned me to come in, but I hesitated just a moment longer before giving in and entering his office. The blank expression that greeted me made me wish that I’d hesitated longer.

“You wanted to see me?”

“Close the door, would you?” His insistence on me closing it peeked my interest and set me even more on edge, which was probably one reason why I almost jumped out of my seat when he smacked the top of his desk. “You’re never going to guess who I just got off the phone with!”

“You’re right, I probably won’t guess. So why don’t you go ahead and tell me so we save some time.”

“You’re no fun today!” He complained and then his smile grew even wider. “Fine, I’ll tell you. It was Jimmy Reed.”

I perked up at hearing the name of the Bucks’ General Manager and couldn’t help but be a little curious. “What did he want?”

He chuckled at my interest and leaned forward in his seat. “We contacted him several weeks ago, requesting that they grant us the rights to do a story about the team. We asked that one reporter be given access to their facility and to interview the players; and they’ve agreed.”

“Really?”

“Really. But here’s the kicker.” He leaned forward even more. “We also requested that the writer of the article be allowed to follow Trev Davila around.”

The mention of Trev’s name made the hairs on my arms stand up and butterflies flitter around in my stomach, but any excitement that I felt from hearing his name quickly turned to skepticism as I processed what Roger said. “There’s no way that Trev would agree to that. He doesn’t do extra interviews and he sure isn’t going to agree to someone following him around.”

“Which makes what I’m about to tell you even more incredible. He said he’d do it, but he has one condition.”

I laughed at Roger’s excitement. “Oh I can’t wait to hear it! Knowing Trev it’s some unattainable request that will get him out of doing it.”

He shrugged and smirked. “I guess that’s up to you; whether or not it’s attainable.”

I almost panicked at that moment; wondering if I’d done something that had clued him or anyone in to the fact that I had feelings for Trev, and worried that the Times wanted to use it to their advantage. “What the hell are you talking about, Roger?”

His smirk changed into a grin that went from ear to ear and my heart started to beat faster. “His one condition was that you be the writer of the article.”

I sat there blinking at him in complete disbelief. It seemed so implausible that I convinced myself that he must’ve been pulling my leg. “Surely you’re kidding

He shook his head. “No, I’m not.” His expression turned serious and he took a deep breath before continuing. “Look, Haines, I know you don’t write fluff and that you’d rather stick to reporting on team practices and games, but this is a huge. No one’s ever had this opportunity. . .”

“And you want me to agree to do it.” I interrupted him and he nodded, cringing as he waited for an answer that I couldn’t give right away. Not because I didn’t want to do it, although I hoped that Roger believed that was the reason. My hesitancy came from the fact that I couldn’t decide if I was dreaming or hallucinating because it all seemed so incredible.

Eventually, I convinced myself that I was indeed awake and let out a loud sigh, one that I hoped made it look like I was really struggling with the decision. “I’ll do it, but I want to sit down with him and nail out the specifics. The stipulations of me following him around will be between him and me, not between the Bucks and the Times. I think he’ll feel better with that arrangement and might even open up more with it being more of a one on one thing.”

“Good thinking!” He shook his head back and forth as he smiled at me. “Holy shit! I can’t believe this is really going to happen!”

I couldn’t either, but I continued to keep my expression guarded as I stood up. “Just remember, you owe me. As you said, I don’t do fluff.”

“Right! Anything you want, you name it!” He exclaimed before reaching over and picking up his phone. The last thing I heard before closing the door was Roger’s joyful voice requesting to speak to Jimmy Reed. It was only after closing the door that I finally let the smile that I’d been suppressing appear on my lips and lightly pinched my arm, just to make sure.

The same day that Roger called Jimmy to inform him that I agreed to write the article, a meeting was scheduled between the Buck’s, the Times, the two legal teams and Trev and me. Two days later I stood in a waiting room at the Buck’s stadium with Roger and two people from the Times legal department feeling nervous, which threw me for a loop. I never got nervous, ever; but as we stood there waiting for the group from the Buck’s organization to walk through the doors, I had so much nervous energy that I started to pace.

“Nervous, Haines?” Roger poked fun at me.

“No. I just hate waiting around.” I lied and willed myself to stop pacing. The doors thankfully flew open at that moment and Jimmy Reed led the Buck’s procession through the door.

“Roger! Good to see you, it’s been too long!” He shook Roger’s hand and then turned his attention towards me. “Ms. Haines. Glad you could join us today.” We shook hands and he motioned for everyone to enter the meeting room.

At first, I didn’t see any sign of Trev; Jimmy and the slew of Buck’s reps obstructed any view of him. It wasn’t until we took our seats that I finally caught sight of him. He took the seat directly across from mine and we smiled at each other when our eyes met, but our recognition of each other was interrupted when the legal teams started hashing out particulars. 

I agreed to not report on any injuries, or any information that was deemed classified by the Buck’s organization. The Times agreed to let the Buck’s see the article before it was printed and change anything they felt needed to be. All in all, the excruciating negotiations continued for thirty minutes, ending with Jimmy finally turning to address Trev and me.

“With that out of the way, we’ll let the two of you hash out the particulars of your agreement.” He stood up and nodded towards me. “We look forward to seeing you soon, Ms. Haines.” I nodded back and as everyone else left the room, I turned my attention to Trev.

“I still can’t believe you agreed to write the article.” He smiled and shook his head in awe.

“I can’t believe you agreed to do it and asked that I write it.” I said with just as much awe and smiled back, expecting our usual banter to follow. But his smile quickly vanished and the teasing in his eyes faded.

“I knew I could trust you.” The certainty in his voice and the intense honesty in his eyes took my breath away. I tried looking away but his eyes were like magnets and drew me in even more with relief only coming when he mercifully looked down at the table as he continued his thoughts. “And it’s good for the team. It’ll show people that the guys have worked really hard and it’ll finally give them some credit for what they’re doing.”

Much of the attention that season centered on Trev and his “comeback” and most of the credit given for the team’s success went to him. It was something that I knew bugged him and he repeatedly tried in interviews to give credit to the whole team for their success.  Hearing him admit that his participation was for their benefit, and not his, made me smile. “Giving credit where it’s due?” He nodded.

“That kind of goes along with an idea I have.” I admitted and the smirk he gave me almost made me forget to tell him my idea. “I thought that since the Buck’s have a say in what’s included in the article and will review it before it’s published, that I’d give you that same option.”

He sat forward slightly and looked stunned. “You’d do that?”

I nodded. “You can be the first to read it and if there’s something in it that you’d rather not be, tell me and I’ll remove it. The same goes for if there’s something not in there that you want, let me know and I’ll add it.”

“You don’t normally do that, do you?”

I shook my head. “No, but I don’t normally write this type of article.” I paused and looked down at the table before admitting my reasons why. “I’m not approaching this from the angle that I’m the writer, you’re the subject, and that I’ll create some amazing fluff piece that’s sole purpose will be to give the Buck’s and the Time’s glory.”

I looked back up to see his quizzical expression and met it with a determined one. “I’m approaching it from the view point that this article is about what you say it is, and that the message comes from you. I’m just the way you’re going to deliver it. If you want the article to be about the team, that’s what I’ll write it about. Granted, I’m going to do it from the view point that I followed you around, and I’ll have to add bits and pieces about what you did, but you get to dictate the overall feel of the article. Once you approve it, I’ll hand it over to the Buck’s and the Times and if they have any questions about it, I’ll let them know that our agreement was that you had final say in the article and that it has your full backing and approval.”

He nodded and looked back down at the table, while he thought for a moment. “That’s. . .” He tightly pressed his lips together, stopping himself from finishing his thought, which left me wondering what he meant to say. But before my curiosity prompted me to ask, he peeked up at me and continued. “Thank you.” The sincerity I heard in his voice and saw in his eyes, rendered me speechless and all I could do was nod as both of us pulled out our phones to look at our schedules. “If you’re going to do that, I think you should pick the day.”

I looked at my calendar and saw one day that was wide open. “Next Monday is completely open for me.”

“Any day but Monday.” The words were blurted out in a panic. I was more than a little curious why he didn’t want me to follow him around that day, especially since moments before he said the decision was mine. I sat silently staring at him until he was forced to look up from his phone and challenged him by raising an eyebrow, daring him to tell me why that particular day was off limits.  “You’d have to sign another confidentiality agreement.” He thought out loud as he looked back down at his phone. “And it wouldn’t just be me and the Bucks who had a say in what could be included in the article.” 

I could tell by the look in his eyes when he looked up that he didn’t think I’d agree, but I had no reason not to. I nodded my acceptance and his sigh signaled his defeat. “Okay, next Monday. I arrive here at six o’clock in the morning.” He gave me one of his smirks and I about fell out of my chair when he winked at me. “Don’t be late.”

When I pulled into the parking lot the next Monday I chuckled when I saw his car already parked there. I purposely made sure that I arrived before our agreed meeting time of six, but even though I pulled in fifteen minutes early, he still managed to beat me. “You just couldn’t let me beat you here, could you?” I jokingly complained.

He chuckled as he walked over to my car. “I figured that if you beat me I’d have to hear about it all day long.”

“So instead, I get to hear about it all day long?”

His lips slowly spread into a teasing grin and I smiled as I rolled my eyes at him. “You ready to go watch some videos?” He motioned towards the stadium doors and we started walking.

“That’s what we’re doing first?”

“Yup.” He held the door open and grinned at me as I walked past him. “You can even sit in one of the chairs instead of standing in the back of the room, spying.”

His reminder of my behavior during the summer at ASU made my cheeks redden as I peeked up at him. “You’re never going to forget that, are you?”

He flashed me another blinding grin. “Nope.”

We spent the next hour and a half watching videos of the previous game and of the next defense that the Bucks were scheduled to play. He had a similar process to what I saw during the summer at ASU, but wasn’t as hard on himself as he had been back then. He scrutinized every second of the Buck’s offensive plays and several times he noticed things about the offense and defense that I didn’t, things that most players wouldn’t notice or take the time to.

The next items on the schedule were meetings and then a team workout. The offensive line met first and even though they invited me to sit amongst the group, I felt that the more I could blend into the background the better chance I’d have to see real interactions between them. 

It wasn’t very long before the meeting moved into a routine that seemed familiar to everyone and the process was something I’d never seen. The Offensive Coordinator talked about a play, the players competed with each other about who could make the most observations, an open discussion started between all players and coaches about how to implement any changes, and then they moved on to the next play. 

The team meeting was very similar. The players actively participated in the meeting and expressed ideas and opinions. Throughout both, there was a respectable yet playful atmosphere and it was evident that as a whole, the team got along well.

Once everyone changed and met in the workout facility, I talked to players one on one about their routines and frustrations that people believed that the team’s success was due to luck. When I asked them what they believed made them successful some said belief in the team, others mentioned belief in each other, and most said hard work, but what I heard over and over again from almost every single player was that Trev and Ryan was the reason for them pulling together as a team. That from the beginning of the preseason, Ryan and Trev made it their mission to get the team fired up, and without that leadership the players didn’t believe they’d be as successful.

After questioning the other players, I looked around for Trev and Ryan and did a double take when I saw Trev sitting on one of the tables with an ice pack on his neck.

“Are you injured?” I asked as I walked up to them.

“Neck’s been acting up a bit. Not a huge deal.”

I knew it was BS. Players always downplayed their injuries, but I decided to leave it be. Instead, I turned my attention to Ryan and asked him his opinions about the team’s success.  Soon the players headed back to the locker room to shower and I was led to a room where I sat down with the coaches. They answered my questions about the procedures and mechanics of making the team run the way it did, at least the ones that the legal team deemed “answerable.” When the mini meeting ended, I thanked them and rushed out the door, hoping that Trev would be nearby to take me away.

I saw him leaning against the wall when I opened the door and he chuckled. “You look like you had a fun time in there.”

 “It wouldn’t have been so bad if the legal team hadn’t kept saying “That question isn’t answerable.” or “It’s against Bucks’ policy to disclose that information.” Not that I’m surprised that they didn’t answer them but they were questions that The Times wanted me to ask and now I can go back and tell them I did.”

He chuckled again and nodded. “You ready to go?”

“Go? You’re done here?”

He nodded. “Today I am, I normally stay later but I have something else scheduled today.”

“Right. The thing that requires me to sign more papers.”

He nodded again. “Which should be at the front desk. I asked them to be faxed here so when we arrived everything would be in place.” I followed him down the hallway and out to the lobby where the receptionist handed him a folder of papers. 

“There should be a confidentiality agreement, a copy of their privacy policies, which they asked that you initial each policy and then sign, and there may be other places to sign too. I had to sign several papers when I first started going there and I wasn’t going to use any info for media purposes.”

I opened the folder and saw the letter head on the first page which answered my question of where. “We’re going to Children’s Hospital?” He nodded and as I signed and initialed papers I wondered why. When I finished, we walked out the lobby doors where a black sedan was waiting for us. Between that, the multiple papers I signed and the fact that he wasn’t talking, I knew that we weren’t just “visiting” the hospital.

The drive only took five minutes, and I was again intrigued when the driver drove around to the back of the building where a man and a woman stood outside waiting to greet us.

“Mr. Davila! We appreciate you visiting us again!” The woman smiled at Trev and he shook her hand.

“It’s good to see you, Margaret! And we go through this every time, call me Trev.” He flashed her his blinding smile and she giggled. He then turned his attention to the man and shook his hand.

“Larry! Good to see you too!”

“We can’t thank you enough for doing this.”

“I’m always happy to come here.” Trev admitted and turned to look at me. “Margaret, Larry, this is Pamela Haines from the Bridgeport Times. Pamela this is Margaret Daniels, the Public Relations person for the hospital and Larry Grimes, the Hospital Administrator.”

We greeted each other and shook hands before they led Trev and me through the door and into the hospital. After I handed over my signed papers, Trev pulled me aside and started explaining. “The reason I was originally reluctant to agree to this day, is because I wasn’t sure if the hospital would agree to you being here.”

“Are you visiting patients? Is that why it was so hard to get clearance for me?”

He nodded and Margaret returned before I could ask him anything else. “So, you can include names and details of conversations if the parents and patients give you permission. And the same goes for photos; they can only be included in your article if they agree to it. I’ll be carrying around several media release forms so just let me know if someone okays it, and we’ll get them to sign the necessary paper work.”

I nodded and she started to lead Trev and me through several back hallways and onto an elevator. When the doors opened we walked onto a patient floor and several excited children came out of their rooms to see Trev. He went around and gave each one of them high fives while I stayed behind with Margaret and watched in amazement.

“How long’s he been doing this?” I quietly asked her.

“Oh gosh. . .I think this is his fourth year.” She paused again as she thought through her statement and then nodded. “The hospital asked him to do it four years ago and about four months after that he called us wanting to do it again. He comes in about every four months, walks a couple of the floors, asks us to pick a couple children for him to visit, and his only request is that we try to keep it quiet.”

“He’s been coming here for four years?” She nodded and I looked back over at Trev who was surrounded by children of varying ages. If someone had told me a year before that Trev visited a children’s hospital and tried to keep it quiet, I wouldn’t have believed a single word. It was another painful reminder that I hadn’t really known who he was at ASU or even most of his time at Bridgeport.

Eventually Margaret walked over to the group of children and informed them that Trev needed to visit other families. Trev high fived each of them again and as he started to walk away I caught up with him. “Why didn’t you tell me that you’ve been doing this in secret? If you’d explained it to me I would’ve agreed to a different day.”

He shook his head. “After what you suggested about letting me have final say in the article, I didn’t want to say no to the day you chose.”

I shook my head back at him. “I don’t have to include this in the article, Trev. You wanted it to be about the team, not you.” I hinted and he let out a long sigh.

“If you can figure out some way to include it while not making it completely about me, then I’m okay with you including it.”

I nodded but had no idea how I would go about doing what he suggested. We stepped back onto the elevator with Margaret and she started to describe the first patient that Trev would see. “There’s a boy on the Oncology floor and he’s a HUGE fan of yours. One of his nurses found out that you were coming and she recommended him for your visit. I talked to him yesterday and he’s. . .well. . .” She smiled and chuckled. “Let’s just say that he started to give me a play by play of your last game.”

Trev and I both laughed but stopped as soon as the elevator doors opened again. Unlike the previous hallway, it was quiet and there weren’t any children running out of their rooms. We continued to quietly follow Margaret down the hallway when a picture sitting on the nurses’ desk caught my attention. It was of Tiny from the Bucks and I guessed a child that had been at the hospital. At that moment I knew exactly how I could use Trev’s visit there in the article without bringing too much attention to him and I filed the thought away for later.

We stopped briefly outside a patient room and Margaret informed us that the boy’s name was Drew, he was 10 years old, he’d been diagnosed with leukemia, and his parents were Mark and Gina. Trev nodded and knocked on the door before entering the room.

“Oh my God! He’s here, he’s actually here!!” Drew excitedly exclaimed as we walked further into the room. Trev chuckled and walked over to him.

“Hey there Drew! Nice to meet you!” He shook Drew’s hand and then briefly turned to the parents and introduced himself. “I hear you’re a big Bucks fan.” Trev said as he sat down in a chair across from him.

“Not just the Bucks; I’m a big fan of yours! I know all your stats!” I moved farther in the room to see better and Drew’s attention shifted to me. “Who’s that? Is she your girlfriend?”

I froze and his parents’ eyes looked like they might pop out of their heads from embarrassment. “No, she’s not. She’s a reporter who’s following me around. But you can trust her though. I’ve known her for a long time and she’s a friend of mine.”

Drew nodded and turned his attention back to Trev while his parents looked apologetically at me. I gave them a reassuring smiled and again turned my attention to Trev and Drew’s conversation. “That last touchdown you threw during the championship game was EPIC!!”

“The ASU one? You’re not old enough to remember that.” Trev lightly teased him.

“Oh, I’ve seen recordings of it! It was amazing!”

“You know, the guy that called that play is her dad.” Trev motioned to me and Drew’s mouth fell open as he stared at me.

“You’re Coach Haines’ daughter?”

“I am.” I nodded and thought that Drew’s attention would return to Trev, but his eyes stayed focused on me and grew larger as each second passed.

“Oh my God!!! I’m talking to Trev Davila and Coach Haines’ daughter!!!”

“Pamela, her name’s Pamela.” Trev said as he turned his head and smiled at me.

Drew continued to stare at me with his mouth hanging open for several more seconds before he closed it, swallowed, and then bombarded me with questions. “What’s it like having a dad who’s a football coach? Do you get to go to all the games you want? How many famous players do you know?” 

Trev and I spent the next half hour answering Drew’s questions and reliving some of Trev’s memorable plays. At the end of our visit Trev signed a Bucks’ jersey for each of them, I took several pictures of the two of them together and Drew even requested one with both Trev and me. As we walked towards the door, Drew’s parents thanked us and once the door closed behind us Trev and I both started to quietly laugh.

“He was amazing.” I said to Trev as we stood in the hallway. “It’s insane how much he knows about you.”

Trev nodded. “I’ve met some kids who were fans, but no one comes close to him. He knew quite a bit about your dad too. . .” Trev hinted and I smiled as I looked down at the floor.

“That he did.” A thought then popped into my head and I quickly looked up at Margaret.  “Would it be okay if my dad sent them something? That wouldn’t be against any hospital rules would it?”

She shook her head. “I’ll go by later and ask his parents if they’re okay with you telling your dad about him. I don’t think they’ll have a problem though.” We exchanged a smile and she turned around to lead us to the next room. 

I wondered about who we would meet next and if they’d be as excited as Drew, but a hand resting gently on my back soon distracted me and my feet almost faltered. All the previous times that he’d placed his hand there had been during private moments; never in such a public place or around other people and I questioned if it meant anything.

His hand remained there until we paused again outside a patient door and Margaret revealed information about the child we were about to see.

Kyle, like Drew, was a big fan of Trev’s. He had just turned sixteen and been diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Disease. When Margaret mentioned that his dad had recently passed away I discreetly glanced over at Trev and caught him clenching his jaw. The reaction was quickly covered up by him nodding his head and he paused for a moment before knocking on the door.  Kyle’s mom, Mary, greeted us and then introduced us to Kyle. He was much weaker than Drew and wasn’t as lively, but his eyes twinkled as Trev sat down across from him.

“Hey Kyle, it’s nice to meet you.” Trev said in a calm, reassuring voice and offered him his hand to shake.

Kyle smiled at Trev and shook his offered hand. “This is. . .wow.” Kyle whispered and Trev chuckled before he looked around the room for a moment. There were cards and flowers scattered around the room, but it was a signed football that grabbed his attention.

“You play ball?” He asked using his head to motion toward it.

Kyle nodded. “I did, before. . .”

Trev nodded. “Did the whole team sign the ball for you?”

“Yeah, they’ve been great. Most days someone from the team stops in and visits.” Trev’s head slowly lowered and he nodded again.

“Having friends and teammates like that helps make things a little easier to bare, doesn’t it?” Trev looked back up and Kyle nodded. “My high school team did that for me too.” He quietly told Kyle and I completely froze, knowing that he was talking about when his dad passed away.

“What’d your team do for you?” Kyle quietly asked and I held my breath as I waited to see if Trev would answer him. Once again, his sigh signaled his decision and he looked down at his hands as he continued.

“My senior year in high school my Dad was killed by a drunk driver. There’s not a lot that I like to remember from that time in my life, but one thing that I do remember is how my teammates and coaches were there for not only me but also for my Mom and my brothers and sister.”

“You lost your dad?” Kyle disbelievingly asked.

Trev nodded. “I did; about ten years ago.”

Worry lines appeared on Kyle’s forehead as he looked down at the floor. “How’d you make the pain go away?”

Trev let out a long sigh that prompted Kyle to look up. “I still miss him, but one thing I’ve learned that I wish I had sooner rather than later, is to not to dwell on him not being here. I try to be someone he’d be proud of, someone that if he walked through that door right now he’d be able to say “Great job, Buddy!” That and talking to people about it, not holding in the anger, sadness, and sometimes disappointment that I feel when an important event happens and I’m reminded again that he’s not here.”

The look of admiration that Kyle gave Trev made my heart hurt and feel a sense of pride. I hurt for both of them losing their dads, but I also felt proud of Trev for not only fighting to overcome the past that had threatened to take away his happiness, but also for having the courage to share it with Kyle. As private and cautious as Trev was with trusting people, I knew what a huge thing it was for him to do it.

Another sad smile spread across my lips as I watched Trev look back over at the signed football and slowly stand up. He carefully picked it up and turned it around in his hands, noticing all of the signatures and well wishes on it. In all the previous times I ever saw him hold a football, none of them compared to that thoughtful moment and it took all of my willpower to hold back my tears when I heard his heartfelt request.  “Can I sign it? I know I’m not on your team but I’d be honored if I could.”  Kyle nodded and gave Trev a shocked smile as he watched Trev sign it and then carry it over for him to see.

“Thanks!” Kyle said with more enthusiasm than we’d seen from him since entering his room. The remaining time, Trev and Kyle talked about high school football and how Kyle hoped to get well enough to play again. Trev was cautiously encouraging and asked Kyle and his mom to keep him updated on his recovery and return to playing ball. We left the room almost as quietly as we entered and it wasn’t until the door closed that Trev’s face gave away any hint that what happened affected him more than he had let on.

His shoulders sagged as he lowered his head so no one could see his saddened face and he quietly asked to be given a moment. Margaret nodded and I didn’t think twice about following her.

“I don’t mind if you stay.” I heard him whisper and I swung around, completely shocked that he had.

I slowly returned to where he stood and watched helplessly as he tried to regain control over his emotions. The only other time I saw him so open with them was right before he left for Appaloosa, and just like then, my worry and need to reassure him led me to rest my hand on his arm. The touch of my hand induced a small, appreciative smile to spread across his lips and he lifted his hand to gently squeeze mine.

I looked down at them and wished I could do more than that; I wanted to tell him what he did for Kyle moments before was one of the most admirable and honorable acts I’d ever seen. That because he opened up to Kyle he’d helped ease some of the pain that he felt from losing his dad and that he’d given Kyle hope that everything would be okay. But instead, we stood there in silence, and I wished that my hand on his arm somehow told him all the things I thought.

We stood like that until we both heard his phone buzz and he quickly pulled it out of his pocket to read a message. He immediately responded to it and several times during the exchange I noticed him smile. Part of me was dying to know who could get him to smile during a moment like that. But even though I didn’t know who it was, I was glad that someone could do what I felt like I couldn’t.

Once the text exchange ended, he gave me a half smile and put his phone back in his pocket. “I’m good.” He said and we began to walk back over to where Margaret waited for us. The return of his hand on my back reassured me that at least for the moment he felt better, and I had to remind myself several times to breath while it remained there throughout the elevator ride.

Margaret led us to a conference room where a stack of footballs sat on one end of a table and she informed Trev that there were several markers for him to use. Before she left she mentioned that the fridge had two boxed lunches in it since she knew that Trev never ate before he came and she figured that since I had followed him around all day that I probably hadn’t either.

“She’s very nice.” I said as he began to sign footballs.

He nodded. “She is. There’ve been a couple of times that someone else has escorted me and they’re all nice, but she finds the best kids for me to visit.”

I laughed thinking about Drew. “If Drew is any indication, then I’d have to agree. He was so excited that I thought he might tackle you.”

“I know. I’m kind of surprised that he didn’t.” Trev said with a laugh and continued to sign balls as I began to write down some initial thoughts about the day.

“Kyle’s a nice kid too.” He added, completely shocking me by bringing him up.

“Yeah, he is.” I paused, wondering if I should add the thoughts I had outside Kyle’s room. The last thing I wanted to do was bring up any unwanted emotions, but I also didn’t want to stop the conversation if he wanted to continue. “I don’t think either of them will ever forget today.” I added, hoping that he’d choose to respond, but he only nodded and the room grew uncomfortably silent while he continued to sign footballs and I attempted to turn my attention back to my notes.

“Do you think I said the wrong thing?”

His voice was such a soft whisper that I almost didn’t’ hear it even though the room was completely silent, and for a brief moment, I wondered if I had. But the worried expression that I saw on his face when I looked up at him convinced me that I had. “You mean with Kyle?” He nodded and I jumped at my chance to tell him what I thought earlier.

“No, I don’t think you said the wrong thing. I can’t imagine how hard it must be for him to try to have the strength to fight his disease while also grieving for his father. By opening up to him like you did, you gave him a hope that very few people could because you’ve lived through what he’s going through right now.” His forehead wrinkled with worry as he looked down at the table and I hesitated a moment before laying my hand on his. “Every time he sees you play football he’ll remember that conversation and he’ll know that Trev Davila went through and succeeded at moving past the grief that he feels.”

He continued to look down at the table with the same expression on his face and I started to wonder if I should continue to convince him that he did the right thing. I didn’t though, since he removed his hand from mine and I slowly pulled it back in my lap and started to argue with myself about what I did.

“What I didn’t tell him was how hard it’s been to do that. How for years I did the complete opposite of what I told him.” His sudden confession prompted me to glance back at him, witnessing him staring out the windows with a disgusted look on his face, and I again tried to reason with him.

“But did you have someone that you could look up to? Someone that you knew who went through something similar and gave you hope?”

“Actually, yes, I did.” His admission shocked me. I figured the opposite was true. “My grandmother lost her parents in her early twenties and my grandfather was raised by his uncle and aunt because his father abandoned them and his mom committed suicide later. So I had two people in my life that not only tried to help me and the rest of us move past our grief, but also should have been examples for us that the grief does eventually lessen, if you let it.” He looked back down at the table and sighed. “But I didn’t want to listen to them or anyone. I plowed through the rest of my senior year and figured that the pain would lessen when I got to ASU.”

“Because you were leaving home.” I offered and he nodded.

“I thought that if I could just get away from Appaloosa that the pain would magically disappear and I could move on with my life once I got to ASU. But the opposite was true.” His eyes moved back to the windows and he quietly sat there thinking while I sat in disbelief from him talking to me about his dad. “I didn’t think about the fact that because Dad went there and helped with the football team that I would be continually bombarded with thoughts of him. Everywhere I went someone told me a story about him and I’m sure they thought they were helping me by telling me great and funny things about him, but instead it just kept bringing the pain back to the surface. Instead of being smart and trying to deal with it then, I did the same thing I did at Appaloosa and tried to escape it, but I couldn’t run away like I did before.” He hinted and briefly glanced at me as I nodded. I knew that he was talking about his drinking.

“That’s why you didn’t come back after you graduated.” I whispered and he looked back down at the table as he nodded.

“I again thought I could run away, and because it was Bridgeport, somewhere that Dad had never gone, I figured that I could escape from the painful memories of him. And I did. My escape was so complete that I not only forgot about the pain, but I forgot about him and there wasn’t any evidence of his influence in my life. It wasn’t until I was forced to face that fact, that I had become someone that my Dad wasn’t proud of, that I had any desire to change my life. That’s what I didn’t tell Kyle, that I almost didn’t let go of the pain or stop running from it, and if things had been different, I wouldn’t have even had the chance to tell him.”

“But you did have a chance to tell him that it’s possible to let go of the pain.” I said, trying to help him see that some good had come from his journey. He nodded and turned towards the windows again, seeming to get lost in his own thoughts while mine drifted to what he had admitted about his recovery. Typical of me, the question I thought of was out of my mouth faster than I could stop myself.

“What did you mean when you said that you were “forced to face the fact?” What forced you to change?” Even from the side I could see him swallow hard and I immediately wished I had kept my big mouth shut. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.” I said and thought back to the night at ASU when I had asked one too many questions on the balcony and made him uncomfortable. I figured that he was about to tell me that he wasn’t comfortable answering the question, like he had then, and I tried to prepare myself for it.

 “I had a heart attack the night before I checked into rehab.”

The shock of hearing that he had a heart attack made the blood rush from my face and I stopped breathing as I tried to keep my emotions in check. When he snuck a glance at me, I realized that he was waiting for me to respond and even though my shock threatened to render me speechless, I forced myself to keep the conversation going. “And that’s what convinced you to get help?”

He shook his head and looked to the side. “No. What happened because of that is why I got scared enough to go into rehab.”

“What happened?” I tentatively asked, realizing that the answer may be one that I didn’t expect at that point.

He took a deep breath and slowly let it out through his nose and I knew he was trying to decide if he wanted to tell me. “Trev. . .” He slowly turned his head and when his eyes met mine I placed my hand on his again and gave him a small smile. “There isn’t anything that’s going to make me change what I think of you.” I repeated the words that he said to me the night at Riverview and a small, sad smile worked its way across his lips.

He slowly nodded and looked down at the table as he continued. “The night I had my heart attack I saw my dad.” He cautiously looked back up at me and even though I knew it was in the past, I had to fight to keep from letting him see the anguish that his statement caused me. Instead I nodded for him to continue and he quickly looked back down. “Even though he didn’t say anything, he made it clear that he was upset with me and in my defense, I tried to make him feel bad that he wasn’t here. He showed me specific times that I felt something that I couldn’t explain and each of those times it had been his hand on my shoulder.”

I covered my mouth with my other hand and my heart beat faster. “It’s like Nana.” I whispered. He looked completely shocked and I shook my head. “I’m sorry. You finish and I’ll tell you in a minute.”

He continued but this time he kept looking at me. “I promised at his funeral service that all of us would be true to ourselves and when I woke up, all I could hear were my own words repeating in my head. At first, all I wanted was for it to stop and I asked my brother George to take me to rehab so I could stop hearing it. And it did stop, but every night I still dreamt about Dad and every time I woke up I heard those same words repeat again. It was a constant reminder that I had become someone that not only disappointed others, but also was someone that I didn’t want to be.”

“He’s the reason you decided to get help.” A sad smile spread across my lips as I whispered my understanding.

He nodded but I could tell he was shocked that I believed him. “Not very many people know. My experience is that it’s not something people easily believe in. It was only recently, in Appaloosa that my brothers, sister, and I talked about our experiences.”

I nodded and looked down at the table. “I haven’t told many people about Nana either. I told a “friend” of mine in high school and she told everyone that I thought I could talk to ghosts. Which wasn’t at all what I told her.” I looked up and I was surprised to see him smiling. “Anyway, Mom’s mom passed away when I was little, I don’t even remember her, but Mom and her were very close and I do remember Mom being sad when she passed. I used to love to look at old family photographs and during the summer between my fifth and sixth grade year, I came across some old photos of Mom and her and I got curious about what she was like. So I took the photos to Mom and asked her to tell me more about Nana. She smiled as she remembered different things about her, but it was when she started telling me about how she smelled that I froze.”

“Why?” He asked as he sat forward in his chair.

“Soon after Grandma passed away, Mom had a bunch of rose bushes planted in the front of the house.” Trev nodded. “They bloom every summer, but for most of the year, there aren’t any blooms on them. The reason she planted them and not some other flower was because they reminded her of a rose scented perfume Nana used to wear. I couldn’t begin to tell you how many times I smelled roses in that house when there weren’t any blooms on the bushes. When Mom saw my reaction, she asked me what was wrong and after several minutes of coaxing me to tell her, I finally did. She had smelled it too and after talking to Tiff, Jenn, and even Dad, we found out that we had all experienced smelling roses when we shouldn’t have. It’s become kind of inside family, not joke, but it’s something that only those in our family understand.” 

He shook his head and smiled. “I noticed them this summer when I was there but had no idea there was a story behind them.” He said more to himself and I nodded.

Our conversation was interrupted by a sudden knock on the door and I quickly pulled my hand off of his before Margaret walked into the room, only then realizing how long it laid there. She quickly noticed that Trev and I hadn’t eaten the box lunches and I half paid attention as she insisted that we take them with us. Trev and I both smiled at each other as she handed each of us a box and we followed her to the door we entered through hours before.

As we walked outside, I couldn’t help but feel sad that we were leaving. I never would have guessed when we arrived that I would enjoy visiting there as much as I did, or that so much would happen in the few hours that we spent there.

The sedan was waiting at the bottom of the stairs for us, and Margaret graciously thanked Trev and me for taking time out of our schedules. As we rode back to the stadium, neither of us talked much and instead I thought back on the different experiences of the day. It felt like I met him at the stadium parking lot days before instead of hours and as we stood in the parking lot after the sedan dropped us off, I couldn’t help but ask Trev about it.

“Is this a typical day for you. I know you don’t go to the hospital normally, but is a normal day this busy for you?”

He chuckled and nodded. “Yeah, I’m actually finishing a little early. I’ll be able to eat dinner at a decent time.” He joked as he slightly held up his box of food. “You wouldn’t want to find somewhere and eat together would you?”

I wanted to say yes, but I knew Roger would want at least a rough draft by the next day. “I wish I could, but they’ve got me on a tight schedule to turn in the article and I need to start working on it.” He nodded and we slowly walked to my car.

“When will you be done with it?” He asked me after I placed my box on the passenger seat.

“No more than a couple of days. There may be some small edits that need to happen after that, but hopefully it won’t be anything major.” He nodded as he looked down at the ground and a small smile appeared on his lips. “You’ll be the first one that reads it though.”

His eyes slowly looked up until they met mine and his small smile grew larger. “I look forward to it.” He said and I chuckled.

“There won’t be anything to read if I don’t get started.” I joked. “Thanks, for asking me. I had fun today.” I admitted and the blinding smile that appeared on his face made my stomach do several flips.

“Thanks for agreeing.” He said and then paused for a moment. “I wouldn’t have trusted anyone else to do it.” He added and I felt the blood start to rush to my face. “I’ll talk to you in a couple of days?” He hinted and I nodded. He walked around me and opened my door for me, like he had done many times before, and as I moved to sit down I felt his hand on my shoulder.

“Thanks for listening today.” He said and I smiled up at him.

“Anytime.”

He smiled at me as he closed my door and after I drove away, I once again thought back to all that had happened during the day. No matter how much I tried to remember the parts of the day I could actually include in the article, the conversation we had in the conference room and the moments where I had touched him or he had touched me kept distracting me, and I wondered how on Earth I was ever going to concentrate long enough to write the article that everyone eagerly wanted to read.